Dead Man Walking

I am the loneliest person right now, friends are by my side, but nobody ever seems to understand the state i am having right now, i thought of someone to talk to but it seems like she is too busy to be with me ...

I was crying before i went to sleep, then again, tears flowed first though my eyes until i was tired and dont have the energy to open my eyes anymore and then went to sleep...

I was the loneliest person alive this afternoon, I wanted to hold somebody but i cant, i wanted to talk to somebody but i cant, i wanted to feel somebody but i cant, all thing that was left inside me is the coldness of my pain, now the pain is crawling up my spine and through my chest, all of the heartaches that i felt for the past few months are now getting stronger and stronger and now that i am alone ... i just dont know what to do ...

I dont know what i have inside me right now, is it anger ??? , is it pain ??? ... i dont know ... i just feel cold ... i just feel cold ...

I cant smile taht much right now, i cannot shout it out since i dont want anybody to know ... I want to be strong but when i am alone i just crumble at my feet and i want this feeling to go away but i have to do this .. i have to be alone ... i have to sad ... i have to be in pain ... I have to learn ...